We did what we could... right?

Disclaimer: I usually try to write well. I did not try this time. But at least it's honest.

It was all fun and fellowship. Laughing and talking. Joking around. Being on vacation means you have a lot of time and perhaps this was a good way to spend the time. By helping people. Going to pack food packets to distribute to migrant communities.

I should have left after the packing. But I didn't have any work to do after and they needed an extra hand. So I joined them to go and distribute. We reached the place and found, according to someone there, 6000 people. We didn't have food for 6000 people. We had even less water. They were boarding BMTC buses after standing on queues under the sun for a long time. The buses would take them to the railway station where they would board trains for their home states.

We distributed the food. But we didn't have enough water. We requested the people to share 12 bottles of water among 35 people. Some said they need more. Some said there would be fighting among the people and so they were better off being thirsty. They hadn't had any water since morning. After a while we ran out of chutney so it was just rotis. And no water.

Trying to explain to people that there is less water and you have to share felt like talking to a wall. I started losing my patience. Perhaps we shouldn't have taken on this assignment. It was more trouble than it was worth.

We did what we could... right?

I don't know if I will ever get the answer to that question. Of course the work was tiring and I had a raging headache by 4 when we finished distributing the food and water. At least the sparse quantities we had. We had water for us though. I wanted to hide and drink it. After explaining to a man that we had no water. A man who hadn't had water since morning and who said he had some ailment. After that I was drinking an entire half bottle of water. But I had no choice right? There were kids on a bus where we gave 15 bottles. They were probably looking at me drinking the water mere minutes after telling them we didn't have more. But... We did what we could... right? Like... I wasn't obligated to do it... right?

A raging headache at 4. No strength even to cry. I wanted to cry though. I sat under a tree and waited for us to leave. I had no strength left.

Of course I have the option to say I'm too tired to go for the packing work tomorrow. Do those people have an option to... you know.... not do this anymore... ? Like, can they say, "I can't even anymore?"

And the people were being unreasonable right? Hiding a bottle and a food packet and saying they don't have one? I mean they are preventing others from getting it. But am I preventing others from having enough when I spend 70 bucks on a coffee at a fancy cafe?

I can still hear the sounds of people asking for water. I can still hear me and the people with me shouting at them that we don't have and that there wouldn't be any left for others. They hadn't had water since morning.

But we did what we could I guess...

Now I can just hold on to a promise 'those who mourn are blessed for they shall be comforted' [Mathew 5:4] and mourn. Because we did all that we could.... I guess.

Random thoughts on my apathy and hypocrisy

The Hindu today ran an article titled, 'The long march home on the other side of the Vindhyas', and it shook me. I wanted to help them. I wanted to do something. I wanted this to not be the reality I faced.

And yet, I was instantly reminded of the various times that I have failed to love these migrant workers. A few times while travelling by train from Rajnandgaon to Bangalore, or the other direction, there were a number of migrant workers on the journey along with me. Most of them would not have reserved tickets, and so would be illegally on the sleeper coaches. I would often argue and demand for my seat, claiming that I had a reserved seat. And I would often be irritated by their presence.

Today, I wonder what moral right do I have to criticize others (including the Government) for their treatment of these workers. Yes, according to the Government rules, it may not be right of them to try and go home. But we all understand that they still are willing to walk more than 2000 kilometers only out of desperation. But then it was the same before the lockdown right? They were not supposed to board the sleeper coach with a general ticket, but they did so out of desperation right?

I remember talking to a guy on the train on one of my journeys. He was travelling to Janjgir - Champa, and he said that he had paid the full sleeper charge and had booked a month in advance but did not get a confirmed ticket. It was essential he reach home by then. And even I could see the rush in the general compartment made it impossible to get in there.

The sight of these migrant workers walking on the road shows how desperate the pandemic has made their lives. But the fact that these people would consider walking such a distance when I sure wouldn't, perhaps points to the fact that their lives were already plenty difficult to begin with. The fact that they would consider such an option to act upon shows the way they have lived all their lives. I had not seen it till today.

If my family or friends had been among those crowd of migrants, I wonder if I would just be feeling bad and praying for them. Or even writing such blog posts. I wonder if I'd be doing more if I had near and dear ones among those walking home. This goes on to show that I don't love these migrant workers as much as I love my family or friends. The Biblical command to love my neighbour (which includes the migrant workers) as myself seems impossible when I can't even love them as much as I love my brother.

When the lockdown was announced, I flew home. My parents booked the ticket, which cost a total of 4237 rupees. They paid for it. Today a guy three years younger than me is trying to reach home. By foot. With 700 rupees in hand. And the distance more than 2000 kilometers.

Hope as the antidote to hate in modern political discourse

With increasing usage of internet, there has been an increase in the number of political conversations happening online. This is certainly a good thing. Information can easily be transferred and published. Details about policies, news events, and happenings, all reach people the very same day. And the ability to engage with a huge crowd of people online has increased these conversations.

However, we can also see increasing polarization in the political discourse online. Along with the polarization, there is also a lot of hate in the very language used in political discourse. This is especially true on online platforms. Go to any decisive issue and see the comments on news articles. Tags such as 'fascist,' 'libtard,' 'racist,' 'sexist,' 'bhakt,' 'liberandu,' and so on and so forth, are very common these days. This trend seems extremely troubling. But here is the problem.

How do you ask a victim to not use hateful language against the accused as well as those defending the accused?

A lot of events sparking these debates are extremely traumatic for the victims of the events. Whenever there is violence against minority communities, it is natural for the community across the society to feel threatened. In such circumstances, we cannot expect the community to use loving or politically correct language. Or when there are crimes against women, it is natural to use hateful language against the perpetrators (often men) and those defending them.

How do you ask a person who feels threatened for his survival to not use hateful language against those responsible for the threat?

There is a narrative popular in India that the majority community has been overlooked for long and there is a definite danger to the future of the said community. Discussing the truthfulness of the claim is beyond the scope of this article. But under such circumstances it would be natural for the community to use hateful language. Minority communities have always felt threatened. They continue to use hateful language.

How do we counter the hate?

The easy answer to this question would be 'love.'

But such an answer shows a callousness to the very real issues people face. It fails to assure them with a solution and is basically a trite, meaningless, platitude.

So what then is the answer?

I propose hope as the antidote to hate.

To be more specific, I propose hope as presented in the Christian worldview to be an effective antidote to hateful language. This hope is built on the Biblical belief of regeneration. That is seen in the vision of the apostle John, recorded in Revelation 21:4: "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." In other words, if heaven is real, I don't need to worry about my sufferings so much. Or as the apostle Paul put it, "the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." [Romans 8:18]

If we are certain of this glorious future, we can face our present circumstances with joy. Which is what the early Christians did. The writer to the Hebrews says, "you joyfully accepted the plundering of your property, since you knew that you yourselves had a better possession and an abiding one." [Hebrews 10:34]

The example of Dietrich Bonhoeffer for hopeful resistance

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor who spoke out against the atrocities of Hitler, even after repeated warnings from the SS. He gave up security in America and went back to Germany in 1939. He was finally hanged by the Nazi Government on 9th April, 1945 for conspiring against Hitler. But was he hopeful, and loving as a result of that hope? Bonhoeffer's response to a small incident when he taught a confirmation class in 1931 may give the answer. Before he entered class, some of the boys threw garbage at him as a prank. "But Bonhoeffer surprised them with his passivity" and eventually won them over. [Dietrich Bonhoeffer: A Life from Beginning to End; Hourly History; Chapter 8] Richard V Pierard writes in Radical Resistance, "from his shining example we learn that spiritual power will surely prevail over the forces of evil - but we must take an active part in that struggle." His part in the struggle was strongly rooted in the hope that evil would be destroyed.

Disclaimer

I realize that such a hope is founded on Christian beliefs, which not all my readers would ascribe to. So I request my Christian readers to be hopeful in the midst of hate (which is very possible in the future considering the present regime), and may that hope translate to love in discourse. That would be the biggest testimony to the reality of our hope.

The pandemic of loneliness: A theological explanation and a missiological opportunity

I was listening to Albert Mohler today. And in 'The Briefing', a podcast where he analyses news from a Christian perspective, he mentioned the words that form the title of this post.

The New York Times ran an article on 9th April which mentions the fact that more and more Americans have been using the phone to call people and talk to them. This was in opposition to trends in recent years where texting was becoming the predominant form of communication. Mohler mentions the fact that the Coronavirus pandemic has brought to focus another huge problem - the pandemic of loneliness.

The phenomena is not unique to the American population. A quick Google search brought me results where Telecompaper ran an article on 23rd April about a rise in phone calls in the UK. And Euronews ran one on 25th which mentioned the same phenomena across Europe.

Though I couldn't find one particular to India, I found a couple of news items along similar lines. Reliance Jio, Airtel, and Idea-Vodafone, or in other words, all the big telecom companies in India, have extended their incoming calls validity in view of the lockdown. The Economic Times ran an article on 19th April, showing how many young professionals are dealing with increased anxiety due to loneliness. The article goes on to mention how these youngsters are finding ways to deal with the loneliness, which include spending lots of time on social media, staying connected with people through video calls, dating, or picking up various hobbies or projects.

All this goes on to show how people are craving the human touch, the human voice, or in other words, they are craving companionship. Mohler in his podcast, says that we as Christians, have a theological explanation for this. God made man in His image, and this craving for connection is certainly a part of our design. God said, "it is not good for man to be alone." Though written in the immediate context of the marital relationship, it can be applied to a larger theme.

But we don't just have a theological explanation, but also, according to Mohler, we can see a missiological opportunity in this. People are longing for human companionship. People want to talk. People are anxious. And they want to talk. As someone who generally avoids being in contact with people through the phone, it is particularly a wake up call for me. And perhaps all of us Christians need to reach out to people around us.

I am in no way discounting the work of trained counselors and psychiatrists. We definitely need such support. However, we can also do our part. We could call a friend whom we haven't spoken to in a long time. Or maybe a family relative whom we have drifted away from. There is a mission here for us. To love and serve our neighbour. It could be to just lend a listening ear. Or to offer comfort to people. To be a friend.

Ultimately, however, we realise that it is only God who can offer comfort to a lonely heart. And as we comfort people, we point people towards the ultimate comforter, Jesus Christ, who promised to be with his disciples "always, to the end of the ages." (Mathew 28:20)

The religious (Christian) alternative: An apology for faith

The world is going through, what can possibly be called, the most difficult time faced by this generation. A number of people are really suffering and there is a lot of hopelessness. Any attempt to present a religious answer during such times could be condemned as opportunistic or as exploiting the situation and not being sensitive. In spite of that risk, I would still like to present the religious alternative because I believe it offers hope and real answers, something that we all need now more than ever.

The Individual and the Community

A lot of my friends believe in the Marxist ideal of a classless society. And some of them shared posts on social media which talk about how capitalism is a huge problem. That is what got me writing this post. (Interestingly, the political left's preaching would not draw as much flak from the liberals as religious preaching though I digress.)

I personally support leftist policies to an extent. This is because I do agree with Marx that true human freedom can be found positively in our relations with other people; it can be found in community not in isolation. Though this flies in the face of the Western, especially American, liberal ideas of personal property and personal rights, Americans themselves would take pride in precisely those very moments when they sacrificed personal property and personal rights 'for the greater good of the community'. The Second World War is fondly remembered as a time when the nation came together for a noble cause. The soldiers are almost venerated. Sacrifice of personal life for the sake of the community was celebrated.

And so, I think we can agree that the community often brings out the best in us. We humans are, if I may use the expression, 'designed' to live for persons or ideas outside of ourselves. That is what brings out the best in us, and leads to 'the greater good.'

The Pursuit of Happiness

That leads me to my second point. Almost all political or religious philosophies deal in some way with man's pursuit of happiness. Whether it be Bentham's utilitarianism that seeks to maximize the happiness of the maximum number of people. Or Marx who wrote, "If we have chosen the position in life in which we can most of all work for mankind, no burdens can bow us down, because they are sacrifices for the benefit of all; then we shall experience no petty, limited, selfish joy, but our happiness will belong to millions, our deeds will live on quietly but perpetually at work, and over our ashes will be shed the hot tears of noble people." [1835, Reflections of a young man]

Every human desires happiness. We seek happiness in many things. There are many philosophies that offer happiness. Some philosophies talk about finding happiness within oneself, while some talk about locating it outside of oneself. For instance, the quote by Marx shows that he believed happiness to be found in community and not in isolation. Here again, I tend to agree with him.

Many of us experience happiness (or some form of it) while watching a movie, playing a game, watching a game, listening to music, spending time with a loved one, and so on and so forth. I believe that at the heart of happiness is losing oneself. We experience happiness in movies when we lose ourselves in the story, or in a game, when we become so invested in the game that we forget ourselves, or in a loved one when we give up our very lives for the beloved (Bruno Mars starts singing, I'd catch a grenade for you...)

The Problem of Self

Here is a problem though. From experience I find that the losing of self is not easy. It's eventual end is sacrifice. That is one area where Marxist ideals fail to translate to everyday life. As beautifully brought out by Orwell in Animal Farm, man eventually sacrifices the needs of the community for the needs of self. It becomes a loop. Sacrificing the community for the self creates problems for the self. To deal with the problems, man further sacrifices the community to deal with self.

The root of the problem is man's nature. Rivalry and competition are hindrances to the realization of a classless society. But rivalry can be seen in man even when he is very young. The moment a younger sibling is born, the older sibling sees the sibling as a rival for the attention of the adults. If the very nature of man tries to put self over others, imposing the foreign ideal of community will be resisted by the nature. This causes the problem where the two points we spoke about are in conflict: the pursuit of happiness impeded by the need to put community over self and the need of the community taking a hit due to the pursuit of happiness. If the nature of man seeks to put self over others, it can find happiness only in doing so.

The ideal scenario

The ideal scenario would be one where the pursuit of happiness and the idea of sacrifice (or letting oneself go) for the community converge. Here is where I believe Christianity can offer a solution.

Christianity sees man as inherently flawed as a result of original sin. This sinful nature is what is responsible for the rivalry and competition. The nature causes one to see oneself as God, and thereby deserving of being above others. For the ideal scenario, education is not what is needed, but rather reformation of the very nature. And that is what, according to Christianity, God offers.

Jeremiah 31: 33 says, "But this is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying 'Know the Lord,' for they shall all know me..." Not education, but rather reformation of character. And 1st John 4:8 says, "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." Note the idea of knowing God in the two mentioned verses and the logical inference is this. Knowing God leads one to love others. And knowing God is what God himself promises to do. Reformation of the very nature, or as the Bible puts it, 'being born again.'

Christianity, much like Marxism, believes in a classless society, albeit one ruled by God. Galatians 3:28 says, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." And yet, Christianity does not actively pursue a classless society but rather pursues man's ultimate joy, which is found in God. Allow me to demonstrate.

Imagine a wheel. The spokes of the wheel get closer to each other the more they get closer to the hub. Or imagine an orchestra. In an orchestra, the instruments are all in sync only when each of them is tuned to the standard tuning (external) and not merely to each other.

Christian belief sees God as that hub, or the tuning fork. When man draws closer to God, he is able to live in harmony within a society. The classless society thus becomes a by product when man pursues the ultimate joy that is found in God.

But what about sacrifice? We already saw that it is not easy. However, we have many examples through history of people dying for something or someone other than themselves. These are people who valued that something or someone a lot. One could not die for a stranger. But dying for the person who gives me the greatest joy is possible. (People do die for strangers but usually there is always an underlying strong belief in the idea of 'country' or something like that and love for that idea.) And so, if as the Bible says, God gives the greatest joy, sacrifice would not just be possible because it is worth it, but would be something to be desired because it would take one closer to God (Philippians 1: 23)

To conclude

This convergence of (i) the sacrifice of self for the community and (ii) the pursuit of happiness is found in Christianity. And this convergence is what drove the early Christians to have "all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.... they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people." [Acts 2: 44 - 47]

If the Christian message is true, and I believe it is, then I believe it to be a far better alternative.

P.S. I do not claim to be an expert on Marxism or any form of political studies. I am sorry if I have misrepresented any of the ideas.

The inequality in education in India

The context - inequality

I have always known that India is a country of contradictions. We know this to be true in the area of income inequality, social and economic justice and so on. However, in the past six months as a teacher, I have been confronted by the contradictions in India's education system.

On the one hand, we have new age schools coming up incorporating the latest ideas and findings from learning science. And on the other hand, we have more than one lakh schools in India running with only one teacher. Bihar, Chhattisgarh and Uttar Pradesh have 20000, 8000 and 12000 teaching vacancies respectively.

International schools are all the rage in the cities and metros, where students who may not do great academically still can go abroad for higher education and get an edge on students from rural areas, where even the reading and arithmetic abilities are abysmally low and have in fact deteriorated in the past ten years. In other words, if you are not great academically from a rural area, you have no hope. And academically, you get very little help in terms of infrastructure as well as teachers. Whereas, in the city, even if you are not good academically, you have innumerable opportunities to do well in life. The fluency in English language that is easier obtained in the cities also gives the urban kids an edge over the rural ones. Now, I studied in both a semi urban setup (Bacheli, Chhattisgarh) as well as an urban set up (Bangalore). And I have seen how much more options are afforded to the kids in the cities. And so this is not just inequality. It is a vicious cycle of inequality, where the affluent continue to be so, and the majority of the poor continue to be denied opportunities.

My natural reaction to this inequality is anger. I am angry at the way the world is. I am angry at our education system. I am angry at our country. And I also feel guilty when I see less privileged people. And perhaps this might be some of your feelings too. I have not done anything wrong and I feel guilty. According to this video,

psychologists say that a little bit of guilt feeling is good because it encourages people to act in what they call pro-social ways, where they are concerned about the society, and try to do good and so on.

The responsibility of the privileged

I am not going to focus on the policy possibilities or what the government can do. But rather I want to look at what we as individuals can do.

John Green in the above video asks the question, "what are you going to do with the guilt and the resources you were born with? But do people even feel guilty? Indian cities and especially the corporate world does a brilliant job of keeping you with people like yourself. As the popular adage goes, "ignorance is bliss." This also translates to how people migrate from rural to urban settings but there are extremely rare cases of people migrating from urban to rural settings. Call someone to Bangalore, and it's very easy to get someone to come. Call someone to Balod, Chhattisgarh (where I live now) even for a short visit, and people will hesitate a lot (though funnily, population in the cities is the overwhelming minority). And just so you may not feel guilty about these things and think about quitting your high paying jobs, the mega corporations keep you distracted on netflix, steam gaming, social media, youtube, etc.

But in case one does feel guilty. I believe it is right to take appropriate action. The guilt might just be God given to spur you to do the very thing God gave you those resources and privileges for. One of my friends put up a post on facebook a while back. It was a quote by Jacques Ellul, in 'Money and Power.' I have not read the book myself, but the quote was pretty interesting:

"The wealthy have duties toward others and God. Job lists them: to care for the poor, to consider the needs of people, animals and even things. The rich have a potential that allows them to understand and assist the unfortunate. This is the true price of wealth. This is the only good use they can make of it. Scripture goes even further and speaks of the rights of the poor over the rich...
Thus when when the rich give, they acquire no virtue, no merit; they are only doing their duty. For to give to the poor is only to grant them their rights...whenever they are denied their rights, God's justice must intervene to reestablish them."

It is this Biblical ethic and understanding that spurred the Church through the ages to set up schools, hospitals, and other avenues for societal development. Many missionaries left the safety and comfort of their own home to venture to dangerous and uncomfortable places with the light of the gospel and the burden to help the people there. Much of it was in the past. And much of it still continues on till today, whether we know it or not. But it is vital for each one of us to ask and answer the question: How are we going to fulfill our responsibility towards God and others?

The responsibility of the privileged with respect to education

How does this responsibility apply to the education field? And why do I choose to talk about it now? As a teacher, I want to give my students the best learning experience they can get. And being new to teaching, I try to learn as much as I can about teaching. I read articles, blog posts and find other resources online. Much of it are great resources, but they are all set to the Western context. I find that I cannot implement a lot of it in my classroom. So there is a huge need for good literature and resources to help the Indian student. This is especially true in the 21st century when the world is undergoing massive changes. Kids, even in the villages, grow up familiar with smartphones. At the same time, they are extremely inadequate in their English language capabilities. How do we implement innovative teaching practices in such contexts? Most of the resources online for innovative teaching are not helpful since the context is too different. We teachers need resources (and good training). For this need for resources and literature to be met, we need brilliant minds with good exposure. I don't want to sound elitist and condescending, but from my experience here I can say that cities have more such people than villages generally. And until people from cities are willing to move to semi urban and rural settings, it's going to be difficult.

But I teach in a private school. What about the Government schools? There is a Government school less that 5 kilometers from my house, where 80 to 90 students are there in a general 9th grade classroom. And there are students who cannot write a single word. The Principal was telling us that she is trying to make the kids draw shapes such as triangles to teach them to write letters of the alphabet such as A. So there is a huge need for good policy makers in the Government. Or perhaps one can work even outside the Government through NGOs, like Operation New Hope and their work in Ladakh shows. Even such operations require people with vision who have the ability to think and solve systemic problems.

Conclusion

I could go on, but I think I have made my point. There is a lot of need, when it comes to education. And I'm sure the need is also in other areas such as rural community development, urban slum community development, healthcare and so on and so forth. Perhaps, you could come down to Balod where I live (please come here 😛) or go elsewhere. Or maybe stay where you are. But the question does remain. What are we doing with the resources we have been given? After all, to whom much was given, of him much will be required [Luke 12:48]

P.S.

This entire post may have been motivated by a desire to see some of my friends come down to Balod. (I'm lonely here 😐 Just kidding 😅). I see a great need here, both in the school and elsewhere. And for some reason, people are too reluctant to make such a commitment to come here. But I do also want people to think more on such issues.

Rejoice in the melody you make

Unless you're strung
And you're struck,
You cannot make melody.
So the Master strings you
And strikes you.
Rejoice in the melody you make
For the Master.

Unless you're hollowed,
God's breath cannot fill you,
And you cannot make melody.
So the Master hollows you
And breathes in you.
Rejoice in the melody you make
For the Master.

Are our lives too busy?

I was having a conversation with a friend, who was telling me about her busy schedule and how she was finding it difficult to balance the various aspects of her life. Being a big manga fan, my mind immediately went to various shonen manga, where the sensei says that to be more efficient one needs to cut down unnecessary movements. I tried to apply this to life, where we have a lot of small unnecessary activities which slow us down and eat into our time. This could be as small as checking our instagram feed. But what does the Bible have to say about it? I believe there are two aspects to consider here.

I. The first aspect is discipline.

Why do we need discipline? The Bible more than once employs two metaphors to describe the Christian walk. It is compared to a soldier (Eph 6:10-18; I Tim 6:12; II Tim 2:3; II Tim 4:7), as well as to an athlete (II Tim 2:5; Heb 12:1; I Cor 9:25). Both these roles require a lot of discipline. Athletes have strict dietary restrictions; they wear clothing that allows them to train and perform more efficiently; they have strict schedules; and they cannot slack off in training even a single day if they are to maintain peak performance. Soldiers similarly cannot get involved in civilian affairs (II Tim 2:4); need to maintain their physical fitness; wear the full armour (Eph 6:10-18); and march in files as a mark of their discipline. In fact, during the time Paul wrote the epistles, Roman army was already famous for its superior discipline.

There are two aspects of discipline we can see from these metaphors. One, there are things we must do, and two, there are things we must avoid. Let's look at the athlete. He has to work out every day. He does various drills and exercises as part of his training. If he slacks off, he can not survive in the competitive field for long. He cannot afford to exercise just once a week. It's a daily effort. Similarly, the Christian cannot slack off in his Bible reading or prayer. It's a daily exercise which cannot be compromised. And just like the athlete when he develops disciplined schedules (fixed times for waking up, reading the Word, etc.), he will be more effective in his training (I Tim 4:8).

The athlete also has to avoid various things. For instance, junk food. If he eats junk food and has an unhealthy diet, it will adversely affect his performance. Similarly, the Christian has to avoid things that could slow down his sanctification. He has to be serious about avoiding every unnecessary thing in his life. That could be watching movies or TV shows, getting involved in extra curricular activities at College more than required, hanging out with friends more than required, spending time on social media or other addictions. Do all (whether eating or drinking, playing or talking, sleeping or singing, etc.- all) for the glory of God (I Cor 10:31). That also means: anything that does not bring glory to God needs to go out from my life.

II. The second aspect is being an active Christian.

I know that this could be categorized under the first aspect of discipline. But I felt it necessary to put it in a separate point because there is a lot to say here. In the parable of the talents (Mathew 25:14-30), we see the master is not happy with the third servant. What was his mistake? He certainly did not commit a big sin, such as fraud or murder. He did not steal the money given to him, but dutifully returned it to his master. What then was his mistake? His mistake was that he was not active in his discipleship. He did not make himself busy for the work of the Master.

I fear that a lot of us may often think that avoiding sin, reading my Bible and praying daily, and going to Church regularly is enough. Sadly it is not. One of my mentors says that there is a joy in being worn out for the Lord. Paul says that he was poured out as a drink offering (II Tim 4:6; Phil 2:17)). He says that he beats his body and brings it into subjection (I Cor 9:27). It is very active. In other words, if I am busy because in addition to my work, I have Church activities or other ministries, don't complain about it. That is how it should be.

I have been an utter failure in this regard for many many years. By God's grace, I feel I am growing but have yet a long long way to go. But because I fail, I should in no way reduce the bar. I should instead rely on his grace more and keep striving.

If my life is too busy, there might be a lot of junk activities I need to get rid of. And then when I have gotten rid of them, I still need to be busy for the Lord, actively seeking the Kingdom of God and his righteousness. May we all seek to do so day in and day out for the glory of His name.

Send revival.... Start with me...

For my fifteenth birthday which was six years back (there I've revealed my age), I was gifted a book. It was the autobiography of Selwyn Hughes, author of the popular devotional, Every Day with Jesus. Hughes always longed and prayed for a revival in his land. Ever since reading the book, I got this desire to pray for a revival in my own land. In my involvement with Bangalore Evangelical Union, I longed for a revival in Bangalore, and subsequently in the whole country. The band Petra had a song titled, 'send revival, start with me.' The song became a sort of prayer in my life for many years. But I never paid much attention to the rest of the lyrics I guess.

Recently I have been listening to some messages by Nate Bramsen, who was a speaker at the Church camp of Calvary Bible Fellowship, Bangalore. He frequently asks the question, "Is prayer a part of my life or is it the very vehicle driving my life?" The question really convicted me and continues to convict me. Another of his statements that really convicts me is, "Don't pray till you're done. Pray till God is done with you."

As I was typing out this blog post, I played Petra's song, send revival, and was struck by the first few lines of the song: 

"We're looking to your promise of old

That if we pray and humble ourselves

You will come and heal our land..."

I want to try this out. I want to pray till God is done with me. And I am becoming convinced that the revival can only be seen on our knees.

How often have I stayed up all night reading a story book, or reading manga online, or binge watching TV shows? I've had all night movie marathons with my friends and so on. And I know some of my friends have gaming sleepovers. Why then can't we stay up a night praying?

So I invite my dear young brethren in Christ (young only in heart is also fine). Let's pray together till God is done with us. Let's do it at my place? I'm thinking either 29th night into 30th morning. Or 30th night into 31st morning. Or 31st night (after most of us get done with the watch night service. Wouldn't it be the ideal way to start a new year? Let me know if you're interested and which day works for you. Reach me at 8105684558 (I'm not on whatsapp by the way).

Edit: We're doing this on 30th night into 31st morning. The venue might change slightly, but it will be around Kothanur. Will keep you posted.

Edit #2: The venue is not around Kothanur. We are having it in Kanakapura road. Do contact me for further details.

Fitting in as a Third Culture Kid (or a Missionary Kid)

This post is aimed at the Third Culture Kids out there. And possibly, even the diasporic ones. But anyone can read it. To start off, let me tell you a little bit about myself. My parents are basically Tamil, but I grew up in a small town called Bacheli, in the Dantewada district of Chhattisgarh. I grew up speaking Tamil at home, Hindi outside with my friends, and English at school. At least we were supposed to speak in English, though we mostly didn't follow that rule.

Having studied in a boarding school for the first five months of my school life, I picked up some good English. Further, due to my parents being fluent in English, fluency in English came easy for me, unlike many of my classmates. Over time, I began reading story books. Most of these story books were set in the West (like most English books are). I also read quite a few biographies of missionaries, who were mostly Western.

The reason for my growing up in Chhattisgarh was that my parents are missionaries. And so growing up, I realized that I was different from the rest of my classmates. My religion was different than most, my parents' work was different, and our language was different. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I found the characters in my books more relate able than my own classmates. Just before my tenth grade, we moved to Bangalore, and I made better friends, mostly during College. But the idea of me not fitting in with my peers always remained. Another factor that played into me not fitting in at Bangalore was that my parents were highly educated and yet we were sort of not in the upper middle class category. So culturally I related to the upper middle class folks but I couldn't relate to them financially (hanging out where they do and so on).

All this isn't to say that I had a horrible childhood. I always realized my parents had a special call and that required sacrifice. I was proud of them and related with them. It was after the move to Bangalore that the dissonance became pronounced. And since then I dreamed of going to the US (or something like that) cos I might relate better to the people there, or that I might fit in better there.

Moreover, the idea of not fitting in created this mad desire in me to try really hard to get an identity. I tried hard to become a really good guitarist. I tried playing football. And I tried reading a lot and becoming extremely intelligent. Or at least pretending to be. But none of it really worked. There was always someone better. I realized that I did not particularly play the guitar or football or read purely because I loved it. And that was sort of the difference between the ones who were really good at it and myself. Yes, I did grow to love it, but it was a mild love, not a wild passion. And that made a big difference.

Eventually, this desire for acceptance went too far. Do people find me funny? Do they think I'm smart enough? Do they think I try too hard? Do they genuinely enjoy my company? Would they miss me if I'm not there? And I started becoming jealous of the guys who seemed to get all the attention. Not to say I did not get my fair deal of attention. But it was never enough. All because I felt I did not fit in.

Back to some information about myself. I identify as a Christian. Not because 'Caleb' is a name found in the Bible. But because I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to redeem me and make me right with God. And because I chose to follow him as his disciple. Now, my faith was a constant struggle in itself. Even the practice of my faith (or the living out of it) often became more about the performance, about how people would view me. Would they think I loved God? Would they think I was a self sacrificing Christian? This caused me further distress because in addition to being a desperate attention seeker I realized I was also a hypocrite.

During my College years I got a few friends who I shared many similarities with. Christians struggling with identity. That helped. Having friends in difficult places is comforting (as sad as that sounds). But in the past few months, I believe I am seeing some improvement in my struggle with identity. And I want to share with you some things that have helped, hoping it might help ya'll too.

Firstly, I realized that it is alright to feel that I don't fit in. Because I wasn't meant to. As a Christian, the Bible says I am an alien and a stranger. And often times, my feelings don't align with my thought convictions. But I need to first know the truths and then keep reminding myself of it, so that eventually I start feeling feelings appropriate to the truths I believe in. I need to know and then remind myself that I don't belong here in this world. And I will never fit in. And that's okay. Because Christianity has this great hope that eventually I will be home. And there I will fit in.

Secondly, I realized that I am already loved and adored more than most people in this world. If I'm accused of pride or a superiority complex for this belief, so be it. It is not that I deserved this love. On the contrary, I completely do not deserve it. However, Christ loved me so much that he died for me. So I don't need to feel threatened about my performance. That I need to keep up my performance or I'll lose this love.

Thirdly, I realized that as a Christian I belong to a family. The family of God as the Bible puts it. And this family consists of all genuine Christians in the world. And if a particular Christian I come across has the right understanding of the Scriptures, the person already loves me not for what I do or for how impressive my performance is but because of what Christ has done for the both of us.

These three points helped me gradually develop an identity in Christ. The ramifications of being a Christian are far and deep. I still often crave the attention of people around me. And that's why it requires a constant reminding of who I am in Christ. And trust me, it is really liberating to find my identity in Christ rather than in what I do. Cos I can enjoy the company of people just for the joy and fun we have without worrying constantly about what they think of me. I can enjoy playing music without worrying about how my music skills would be rated by another person. And so on and so forth. And that is my encouragement to all people who feel they can relate with my struggles. Remind yourself of these truths and believe it. It just might help.

For those who don't believe in Jesus Christ, but have read this blog post till here, here are some lines written by C S Lewis in 'Mere Christianity.' Maybe it might serve as some food for thought.

"The Christian says, Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water. Men feel sexual desire: well, there is such a thing as sex. If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. If none of my earthly pleasures satisfy it, that does not prove that the universe is a fraud. Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing."

I want to meet Jordan Taylor...

I think it was a couple of years ago that I started watching Blimey cow videos on youtube regularly. I became a fan. I also started following Jordan Taylor on his personal channel. Over the course of these two years, my interest in watching his videos have only increased. I know his wedding anniversary (because its a day after my birthday), where he lives, and so on and so forth.

Ever since Youtube vlogging became big, a lot of Youtube celebrities share life with an online community. Often this community spills over into the offline world. The Green brothers conceived the idea of Vidcon, which is now a huge phenomenon in the US. Borrowing the idea, Blimey Cow hosts Blimeycon every year, where patrons (fans who pay) get to meet Jordan and Josh and hang out with them, and have a lot of fun.

I really want to attend Blimey con, and I really want to meet Jordan Taylor.

And that got me thinking.

I have never spoken to this dude. He doesn't know I exist. He probably wouldn't know if I stopped watching his videos. And yet, I want to meet him real bad. And that just from me watching his videos. From listening to him sharing his thoughts on various stuff.

There is however a person who always listens to me when I talk to him. He has revealed his heart to me in a big book, through which he continues to communicate, and in fact he loves me so much that he gave his life for me. Shouldn't I be dying to meet him?

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Do I want to meet Christ as badly as I want to meet certain celebrities? If not, perhaps I need to start hanging out with Christ a little more than I currently do.

Please.... Pray for me... Pray for us!

Listen, Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You must love the Lord your God with your whole mind, your whole being, and all your strength. [Deut 6: 4,5; NET]

My dear dear friends! This is a very personal blog post. I will not name the people I am writing to, because I want it to apply to every believer in Christ Jesus.

Growing up, I did not have a lot of close friends. It had always been my prayer that I have good close friends. God, in His abundant mercy, gave me such friends. Friends, for whose company I literally cried when I had to part with them. Many such groups of friends. Friends who love the Lord just like I do. But, I wonder do we, truly love the Lord with all our being? Like truly truly love the Lord with all our whole being?

I currently live in a town in Chhattisgarh. I am part of a Church where the majority of the members are first generation believers from other faith backgrounds. They truly love the Lord. The Church is also connected to various other Churches in this State, where the work of the Lord is really growing and thriving. This is amazing, right? Like, I could claim this is in some ways, a mini revival of sorts. God is moving, and its thrilling to watch!

But here's the catch. This movement, can, in a large way be traced back to one group of friends around a couple of decades ago, who decided to take a stand for God. Trust me, the story is that simple! One generation of friends, who loved the Lord, decided to obey Him! And the way the Lord is using them is simply thrilling to watch.

What does it mean to love the Lord? What does it mean to truly love Him with all my being? Like, love Him so much that I count everything else as rubbish (Phil 3: 8)? Is it just feeding my ego by watching videos of atheists getting owned in arguments? Is it to praise God through music surrounded by people who will all say Amen? Is it to get together in cozy little Bible study groups which are really fun? Is it barbecue nights and going to inspiring camps?

I am seriously doubting whether I love my Lord! You see, I talk. And I love my comforts. If I truly believed the Word of God, I'd be seriously living for Him. Offering myself as a living sacrifice. Does anyone of us really understand the implication of that word? Like, it's not sacrificing phone or internet or something silly like that. It is sacrificing the authority over my own life, where my dreams, my interests, my attachments to this world all are considered as hatred compared to my love for God. Where my feelings towards poetry, or music, or puns, or reading, all are like hatred compared to my love for God! For all my talk, I seriously doubt my devotion to God!

And that begs the question. Do I really know the Gospel? And that is my prayer. That I truly know the gospel of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! Because if I truly knew the gospel, things would be truly different. And if all of us truly believed in the words of God - nay, if even a few of us believed in the word of God, and took him at his word - I shudder to think what God would do through us. Because now I am seeing first hand what he is doing because a few people took God at his Word twenty years ago.

My brothers and sisters, please pray that I truly know God! And I will pray that you know Him. When I see 95% of believers going into high paying corporate jobs without a 'special call' for it, but ask for a special call when asked to consider missions, I doubt we take God at his Word. When I see that we are comfortable within our Churches, where everyone agrees with us, and don't go to public secular platforms, where we will be called bigots, outdated, and various other names, where we will be the minority, I doubt we truly seek to be His disciple. When we read Jesus telling the rich young man to sell everything and give the money to the poor, and I say it's easy to say that but in the real world you need money, I doubt I trust the Lord. Do I trust Him when He says seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you [Mathew 6:33]? I long for revival and I know I am severely severely lacking in my love for Christ! I hardly make time to pray, to read His Word, and to serve Him wholeheartedly. And so I request you to pray that there will be revival in my life, and in this country of ours!

I know this is not my best blog post. The writing is all over the place, and I apologize for it. But I am speaking from the bottom of my heart, and I will not apologize for that.

I wish that we - a few of us at least - might turly truly decide to love the Lord with our whole being, gladly paying the cost, even if it is our lives that is asked of us! Soli Deo Gloria!

On hearing John Keats

I hear the ode to a nightingale on a quiet winter night.
The video recommendations talk about how one destroys a political viewpoint;
Or the way to trap an argument.
I talk about the death of argument,
Of liberty and free speech.
I think about the polarization of the world;
How anger feeds the internet;
How the internet feeds anger.

I hear the ode to a nightingale.
I do not hear the nightingale.
I am left with an imagined sound
And a faint nostalgia

For an imagined bird.

Contemporary Christian Music (?)

Hello people!

Hope you are doing great. Because I'm not (not to be taken too seriously, I'm actually doing pretty good). And here's why. I'm a little disappointed with not being able to find too many good Christian music artists.

Now I do know the old argument that we shouldn't make a sacred-secular divide, and that there is no such thing as Christian music, blah blah blah... And I kinda agree with that too. But recently I've been granted extra grace by God, which has enabled me to really enjoy spending time with Him. And so I was in the mood to listen to some music which talk about God, and His wondrous works.

But the sad thing is that I couldn't find a lot of music that talk about God in the right way (right as in according to the Scripture) and are also good musically. There are the hymns of course, which I just love. Those old songs that are sung in the traditional Churches, you know? Like, "A Mighty Fortress is our God," "Just As I am," "Be Thou my vision," and so on. But if I want something newer, I don't know.

There is a lot of debate surrounding Contemporary Christian Music. There are a fair number of critics, and quite a few who defend it. The former say that it is vain repetition or that it is not Scripturally solid. There are a number of arguments used by the latter, but I'm going to focus on one in particular. "Why should the devil have all the good music?" That's a famous quote, by (I don't know who). And I guess it makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that it is used to defend music that is not actually all that good. Like, what happened to good song writing.

I know being Scripturally correct is the most important thing. I totally agree. But there are enough people talking about it. So let's talk about song-writing. Like, why don't we get Simon and Garfunkel quality songwriting both lyrically and musically. Or Bob Dylan quality lyrically. I don't want to come across as an elitist. But let's face it. The song writing in CCM gets tedious pretty soon. Which is why CCM songs don't last long. They come in waves. Whereas 'Sound of Silence'. That lasts. Or 'Blowing in the Wind'. Tremendous lyrics. No wonder he won the Nobel (though I know there's a fair bit of controversy with that and I don't want to go there.) And that's part of the reason why the great hymns have lasted too. I'm sure there were a number of Scripturally good hymns that are sort of forgotten today because of poor songwriting. And what about plagiarism in CCM. Let's be honest here. There's way too much plagiarism which is just annoying.

Petra is one good band that had great songwriting, and amazing music. And were Scripturally very good. I'm not saying there aren't any more examples. In fact, there are a lot. Southern Gospel music is really good. I grew up with the Gaither Homecoming CDs and I think they are great. I do sort of like Tenth Avenue North too. And I've heard there are some great rap artists in the Christian community. I've also heard there are some good heavy rock / metal bands that write music with Christian lyrics.

This blog post is somewhere between a rant and a plea for song / artist suggestions. I'm guessing there is a lot of good Christian music out there, and I don't know about it. So, if you guys know of any such artists, do let me know. I don't want artists in the rap, heavy rock / heavy metal, country, or CCM genres. I'm looking at more along the genres of classic rock, soft rock, alternative, Indie, jazz/blues, or some sort of fusion. Or even Celtic I guess. In fact if it's really good country music I don't mind. And what genre does Enya's music come under? Even that kind would be great. And I'm looking for good songwriting. Also, if you know of any good Indian music with Christian lyrics. In Hindi or Tamil, let me know. Like Keerthana songs are old Tamil songs written with Tamil tunes. Is there any such contemporary music?

Alright. That's it, I guess. Thanks in advance! :D Here's a meme I found on the internet to end it on a lighter note (did you note the pun I squeezed in there? Did it hit a chord with you? Okay I'm going to give it a rest...)

Can you guess the answer? I lost to ....

Recently, there have been a lot of whatsapp stories going around with some sort of riddle. I'll give two examples I came across.

1. Can you tell me, what comes once in a year, twice in a week and never in a day? I lost to (some random person).
2. Someone's mom has four sons, North, East, and West. What is the name of the fourth son. Can you guess the name of the fourth son? I lost to (some random name).

There were a lot of these stories around. If you give the answer and it turns out wrong, you are supposed to put up the story saying who you lost to, and you get the answer.

Initially I found these stories extremely annoying. But then I found them fascinating. How is it that so many people who are more or less fluent with English, could get these simple answers wrong? Or if they are riddles to do with logic, certainly people can figure it out? The explanation for the phenomenon though is extremely fascinating. It is due to the difference between the semantic meaning of a sentence and its pragmatic meaning.

Semantic meaning refers to the technical grammatical meaning. More specifically speaking, lexical semantics has everything to do with sign systems and how meaning is conveyed. For instance, lexical semantics is interested in the relationship between letters in the alphabet, words and phrases, and sentences. And if you delve deeper into the subject, you will study the relation between sounds and meaning.

Pragmatic meaning on the other hand, refers to meaning in a more practical sense. Or in other words, meaning that is usually intended for practical purposes. This is opposed to the rather theoretical interest of semantics.

In some cases, semantic and pragmatic meaning are the same. For instance, if I ask the question, "what is your name?" the semantic and pragmatic meaning are the same. They both are requesting for your name. On the other hand, if I instead ask "may I know your name?" the semantic meaning is whether or not the person would be okay with me knowing their name. But the pragmatic meaning, as most people would agree, is that I am asking the person's name.

In our day to day usage of language, we often ignore semantics for pragmatics. This is where the old banter about the words 'can' and 'may' come in. I ask my friend, "Can I borrow a pencil?" And he replies, "I don't know. Can you?" Pragmatically speaking, I wouldn't ask if I couldn't. And yet, semantically my question begs the reply given by my friend.

The whatsapp stories I started this post off with earlier are playing on this disparity between semantic and pragmatic meanings. For instance, the answer to the first question given by me was "the letter 'e'". And yet I was wrong according to the person who posted the story. The intended correct answer was "I can" or "I can't." The question was asking whether I could, not the answer to the riddle itself. Similarly, the answer to the second question is 'what'. The reasoning is that there is no question mark, and hence it is not a question in the first place. It is merely a statement, "what is the name of the fourth son."

I find human language extremely fascinating. My friends know that I love puns and word play. I guess this is another play on language, and to be honest I am enjoying it. I just don't like putting up whatsapp stories of this nature, and saying I lost to people. I guess that's just my pride though. But let's end this blog post with a joke I found on the internet not too long ago. I don't remember where I saw it, and hence this is my paraphrased version of it.

Interviewer: "What would you describe as your biggest skill?"
Candidate: "Noticing the semantic details, and failing to see the pragmatics."
Interviewer: "Can you give an example?"
Candidate: "Yes, I can."

Thoughts I had while attending Open Sky Slam - Part II

First of all, Part I of this two part series has become my most read blog post. It is my first blog post to reach 200 page views. So, yaay! And thank you. And finally, here is the second line of thought I had while sitting there at Open Sky Slam.

Art has always had an interesting relationship with political engagement. There are artists who believe that it is the responsibility of every artist to have political opinions and to be opinion leaders. Then there are artists who believe that an artist is not obligated to anyone, except to her/his own art. I personally believe that people as individuals need to be socially and politically aware, especially in a democracy. Whether their art engages such issues or not is secondary, and it is the personal choice of every artist on whether to do so or not. However, irrespective of whether a person is an artist or not, I believe people in a democracy should be aware and active in issues that their community faces.

The urban Indian educated in English medium institutions sometimes tends to be isolated from social and political happenings around him/her. This often comes due to a privilege enjoyed by the middle and upper middle class educated Indian, which ensures that local political events and decisions do not inconvenience the said person in a big manner. This is especially so in Bengaluru, which has a culture of political indifference. One indicator of this indifference is that voter turnout in Bengaluru for elections is dismally low when compared to the rest of the state. (I also am culprit to this as I will not be voting in the upcoming Assembly elections, having missed the January 22 deadline to apply for an ID card. As you can imagine, I am very ashamed of this.)

In this context, Open Sky Slam, and similar art platforms are playing a very important role, although maybe unknowingly. These platforms are creating a community that is beginning to engage with political and social realities around it. In the many performances I witnessed on 24th, I saw various issues being spoken about, such as the controversial statement by Goa CM, Manohar Parikkar about girls drinking, the stigma around mental health, the complexities of the narrative around prostitution, and other such issues. There was one performance where a rape victim brought out her narrative, and in doing so, subverted the power structure. There was another performance by Aditya Kedia, where he spoke on the promises of politicians, and the subsequent failures to live up to the promises.

Though, some of the performances were intentionally dealing with political and social issues, such as the commentary on the statement of the Goa CM, and the one by Aditya Kedia, most performances did not do so. However, they are still largely significant. Building a collective of individual narratives builds a collective narrative. And many of the performances that did not deal directly with issues also did so in their personalized narratives. For instance, the poem of the rape victim was highly personalized, and yet offers a strong commentary on the prevailing rape culture of our society. Similarly the poem dealing with prostitution was also a very personal narrative. One of my personal favourites among the performances was the one by Cipun Mishra. I mentioned his piece in my previous post dealing with poetic techniques. However, I also love his piece for how intensely personal it is, and yet offers an incredible layered commentary on the socio-economic context in which he grew up. Having to sell the house to afford education for the children, foregoing lunch and saving ten rupees thereby are images that haunt the listener by opening a window into the lifestyle of middle and lower middle class Indians, and also at the same time offer a commentary on accessibility of higher education in India. Poetry in its most melancholic beauty!

Democracy is governance by the people. It happens when people engage with issues in public spaces. OSS and other such art platforms are creating public spaces where such narratives are being dealt with. They also bring people from different contexts together. I witnessed performances in English, Hindi, Urdu, Hindustani, Tamil, and even French. Each of these people are from different contexts. Bringing together different contexts enables narratives and discussions to be more nuanced, than if all the people were from the same context. That is not all. The public space, in this case, is merged with the historic role of the storyteller bringing about an interesting dynamic. In European history, we see that the court jester (the fool in Shakespearan plays for instance) offered political commentary, even often mocking the King and his subjects. Poets in India often offered social critique. These roles have been brought together in these art spaces and merged with the public space where opinions and ideas are discussed.

This is why I think such art platforms are important. Because they offer a means for political and social engagement for people who might not otherwise engage with such issues. Though there needs to be more of an intentional effort by individuals towards awareness and subsequently towards engagement, this is a start. And for now, I am satisfied with baby steps.

Thoughts I had while attending Open Sky Slam - Part I

First off, Open Sky is amazing, and all you wonderful readers should do yourself a favour and go for their slams. For a year and a half, I'd been wanting to attend one of these slams, and I finally made it. And let me tell you that I regret not having attended sooner. While I was sitting there, various thoughts came into my mind, and having found them interesting, I would like to share them with you. I found that my thoughts followed two distinct trails. And as such, I am organizing them into two posts, of which this is the first.

Spoken word poetry is appreciated often for a number of things. For the issues it brings to light, for the conversations it creates, for the wonderful communities it builds around the art form, for the validation and solidarity offered by the community to each of its members, and so on and so forth. However, I have very rarely found much appreciation for the form and techniques employed by the artist. I do not want to be misunderstood here. I do appreciate it for the other reasons I have mentioned and for many more. However, as I was sitting there at Open Sky Slam, the various techniques employed by many poets made the whole experience a treat. I'm sure all of you know these techniques and have seen them often. But allow me to talk about a few of the poets who really stood out personally to me in terms of technique alone. This does not mean that they were better than others who I've left out. I'm looking at them purely on technique.

The thought first hit me while watching Meghna Prakash perform. Her performance had a musical cadence. And as she performed, she was gently swaying to her own words. Performance poetry is primarily an auditory experience, with a tinge of visual. And the way she used both the auditory as well as visual elements was masterful. Cadence refers to the modulation of the voice that renders a musicality to it. It is linked to rhythm, and many traditional written poets have used it masterfully (e.g. "Once upon a midnight dreary / While I pondered weak and weary....). However, the technique finds its ultimate use when combined with good performance.

Though performance poetry has been present in different forms among various different cultures, its modern avatar as spoken word poetry is still quite young. The lack of established traditions and genres allow artists to experiment heavily. One of the possible ways of experimenting is through borrowing elements from other art forms. Angshuman Sharma did a brilliant job by borrowing a number of elements from stand up comedy. He not only borrowed the performance elements, but his content (or lyrics) was prepared in a way that the entire performance can pass as a decent stand up piece, without losing the quality of spoken word poetry.

Imagery is an all time favourite among poets of all traditions, be it written or spoken word. Imagery engages the senses and thereby makes poetry a wholesome experience. Three performers who used it really well today were Akshay Balan, Cipun Mishra, and Simran Narwani. Akshay used olfactory imagery to great effect with his poem on smell itself. "Burn smell - black herbal coconut oil - old books - coffee breath and smoke": such words and phrases leave a distinct odour among the audience. Cipun Mishra used striking visual imagery which made the experience not unlike watching a video montage or a photo album. The image of the shopping complex where once a house stood is something that will be stuck with me for a long time to come. Simran employed tactile imagery in a simple and powerful manner. We all know how a hug feels, and therein lies the effectiveness of her imagery. We could feel each line as it was performed. While I felt my hands enveloping a friend, Simran asks whether the hand really belonged to me. Brilliant!

A number of poets today performed beautifully in Hindia and Urdu. The advantage of this is that traditionally Hindi, and especially Urdu poetry is meant to be performed. The most popular form of such poetry is the Shayari. Many Hindi and Urdu poets employed this. However, two poets really stood out to me in the way they used this. Aditya Kedia, in a poem where he spoke about colours, juxtaposed Shayari lines within story telling. The strength of the story telling form often lies in imagery, and timely well delivered punch lines (which generate snaps). Aditya did have imagery (a poem on colours will of course have good imagery), but his punch lines were delivered in the form of Sher (couplets) of the Shayari tradition. Similarly, Abhishek (I don't know his full name) juxtaposed dialogue into the Shayari form. Dialogue is a technique primarily of the theatre. And Abhishek's poem consisted of two parts. The first was the poet talking to the shoemaker, and the second was the reply of the shoemaker. Very clever!

To conclude, techniques are like spices. They add flavour, but if not used in the right amount, could make the entire ordeal of sitting through a performance quite painful. The chef is usually precise with his preparation, but the person who eats may not recognize the various spices that make the food delicious. Similarly, precise use of technique may often be unnoticed, but that does not make it unnecessary.

P.S. 1. I'm sorry that the first two techniques I mentioned ended up becoming rather vague. I thoroughly enjoyed experiencing the techniques as an audience, but explaining turned out quite a hard nut to crack. I know I haven't done justice to it, and I apologize.

P.S. 2. I'm planning to do a series of posts commenting on the various elements of spoken word poetry, such as technique, form, structure, performance, and so on. Do look forward to it.

We were meant to live

On January 1, 2017, I wrote a blog post (Take notes: It's 2017!), which is one of my favourite posts. Part of the reason is that the post went on to become one of my highly read posts till then, but also another reason was that it was my first post about something I was truly passionate about.

Today, an Instagram story of one of my friends made me revisit the post. The story was an appeal to the students of Delhi University to support a strike by the Delhi University Teachers' Association organized against recent policies by the Central Government. I hadn't previously given much thought to the Government's decision to grant autonomy to various Universities in the country, and I hadn't thought about what would be the repercussions of the decision. However, the story went on to list out some of the adverse effects, which prompted me to do some further reading into it.

Here's the gist of what it is. The Government of India has decided that it will be granting full autonomy to 62 higher educational institutes in the country. This means that they get to do whatever they want, provided they don't ask for money from the University Grants Commission. Therefore, for the University to sustain itself financially, it would increase the fees paid by the students and/or get private players to fund courses offered by the University.

While there are indeed people in India who can very well afford to pay higher fees, for the vast chunk of India's population, higher education is still barely affordable. Therefore, further increase of fees is going to put higher education out of the reach of many. This is going to be disastrous for India in the long run. India's population is highly young, and in the coming decades it will be crucial for India to build a qualified workforce. By limiting higher education to one segment of the population, we are not doing that. Secondly, for many families aspiring to rise out of poverty, education used to provide that way out. This will no longer be possible for such families, who are going to be stuck in a cycle of poverty.

Getting private players, which would primarily be industries, to support courses would be counter productive to higher education, especially for the science and humanities streams. This is where my blog post of last year seems almost prophetic. The world is moving towards an obsession of productivity. The industry is only going to support courses that would directly benefit them or their industry in the short term. Hence, STEM courses would easily get funds. However, pure sciences and humanities, which advance the learning of humanity in general, and thereby lead to better understanding of ourselves and better functioning of society, would not be appealing to these private players.

You may well argue that humanities and pure sciences are quite useless because they aren't productive. To respond to that would be another blog post, however, in short, to be 'merely productive' is to the role of machines, but we as humans, are meant to live for so much more. At least I'd like to believe so (and Switchfoot would agree with me ;)

Bigot! No, YOU'RE a bigot!

Is the world becoming increasingly intolerant? In fact, quite ironically it seems that the more we talk about tolerance, the more we seem to notice intolerance everywhere. There may certainly be some truth to the fact there was a lot of intolerance always, but with increasing social awareness on these issues, we are identifying them only now, and that gives the impression that intolerance is increasing. However I am of the opinion that intolerance is in fact increasing, though I do not have any research or evidence to quote here.

The Indian liberal calls the conservative a 'bhakt', while getting called a 'libtard' by the conservative in return. On the global internet stage (which is basically the social media) we have the 'social justice warrior snowflakes' fighting the regressive forces of 'fundamentalists,' 'extremists,' and 'bigots.' A popular youtube essayist, CGP Grey explains this internet phenomenon in the form of thought germs travelling through the internet and affecting people in this video. Now, the phenomenon itself is quite interesting and harmless in itself. But activities on the internet often find ways to materialize even in the offline world. So, once again we ask the question, "is the world becoming increasingly intolerant, and if yes, why?"

One of the possible reasons is the nature of internet itself. Internet offers a level of anonymity and detachment that allows people to say things that cannot be said in the offline world. Anonymity can be seen in sites like reddit and youtube, while facebook though not necessarily anonymous still offers a level of detachment, which means that who you are on facebook need not necessarily be who you are in the offline world. And this allows you to get away with saying things. One example for this is the popular manga/anime series Deathnote, where approval of Kira begins in the internet. People want to maintain a level of decency in the offline everyday society, but online they are hailing Kira as the god of the new age under the guise of anonymity.

Another possible reason is the connectivity of the internet as explained by CGP Grey in the above mentioned video. Because of the connectivity, thought germs are not limited by geography, and can spread far and wide. And like his example of the plant and butterfly shows, when thought germs affect individuals, they will inevitably end up joining one or two sides of the existing debate, and the debate itself keeps growing in that manner.

Most communities have their own taboos, not just in terms of topics of conversation but also in terms of behaviour. Accordingly, there is a constant censoring of behaviour and speech by every member of the community. On the internet, however, due to its cosmopolitan nature as well as due to the lack of gatekeeping, there are no clearly defined taboos and subsequently no clearly defined uniform censorship. So, people feel free to speak and behave in manners otherwise unacceptable in their offline communities.

This means, if a particular (offline) community is against the curtailing of the freedom of thought and expression, on the internet, people of the same community will find it easier to express intolerant views, and may find people from across the world who may agree to their intolerant views. This will further validate their own opinions and strengthen their own resolution to their opinion. Moreover, these individuals form their intolerant communities online and may decide to meet offline as well. In this case, we can see how internet in a direct way contributes to increasing intolerance.

However, is this something that can be blamed on the internet? If a person's behaviour is different from due to lack of an anonymity, isn't that behaviour just a performance, akin to wearing a mask? Similarly, isn't who a person is in the lack of censoring and gatekeeping, the person's most honest self? If the answer to these questions is yes, then what does it say about the nature of human beings? Do humanism's ideas of man being inherently good still hold good? These questions need to be discussed.

Do feel free to disagree with me, or even agree with me. In any case, if you wish to discuss these issues, leave a comment. I'd like to know what you guys think. Alright, peace!

The Light Meets the Dark: the gospel in the context of hard questions

Today I had an interesting conversation with a friend. We were talking about the hard questions of life. And I'm guessing that if we are honest, each of us faces moments when we are confronted with hard questions. Questions that makes us uncomfortable. We are confronted with answers that don't feel good. And much too often, the natural tendency is to ignore such questions. Vinoth Ramachandra in his blog post, ""Deconstructing Equality", talks about the question of intrinsic and equal worth of human beings being side stepped or shouted out of view in our contemporary polarized discourse of equality, since it is a hard question.

When I came back home after the conversation, I started listening to an album by Tenth Avenue North, "The Light Meets the Dark." And for the first time, I noticed how the band does not shy away from asking tough questions. I have not been a big fan of contemporary Christian music due to many reasons, out of which one is that CCM often does not deal with hard questions, and just writes feel good inspirational music.

The third song of the album, 'you are more,' is one of the band's highly successful songs both critically as well as on the charts. The song talks about questions of self worth, and in quite unflattering tones claims that self worth cannot be drawn from the choices one has made in life. In a concert, lead singer and frontman, Mike Donehey says about the song, "We preach something like this, 'the choices you make make you who you are.' You know, only proud people say that, only people who've made good choices say that... Well, here's the gospel, you gotta admit you are a bum, and you don't need to prove a thing to anybody because He did it for you."

The first song of the album, 'healing begins,' makes an appeal to let down one's walls. The second verse says, Afraid to let your secrets out / Everything that you hide / Can come crashing through the door now / But too scared to face all your fear / So you hide but you find / That the shame won't disappear. And then the pre-chorus kicks in, So let it fall down / There's freedom waiting in the sound / When you let your walls fall to the ground / We're here now.

The last song of the album, 'Oh my dear', closes out the questions raised by "healing begins," in a very satisfactory manner by telling the story of a person opening up and talking about some of their deepest secrets: You said, 'I just don't think that you'll understand / You'll never look at me that way again / If you knew what I did.' // And so your tears fell and melted the snow / You told me secrets nobody had known / But I never loved you more, even though / Now I knew what you did. // Oh my dear, I'll wait for you / And grace tonight will pull us through / Until the tears have left your eyes / Until the fears can sleep at night / Until the demons that you're scared of disappear inside / Until this guilt begins to crack / And the weight falls from your back / Oh, my dear, I'll keep you in my arms tonight.

Each of the song in the album deals with heavy questions. The band deals with defeat, feelings of inferiority, fear, hurt, and the various challenges one faces while living the Christian faith, in a very succinct manner. And it is only in the context of asking the real tough questions that the hope and appeal of the gospel (the word gospel literally means 'good news') really stands out.

I experienced the album to be quite inspirational. But it does not inspire by ignoring and shying away from the difficult questions, but rather talks about hope in the midst of the ugly reality that we have to live in everyday.

Disclaimer: I am not good at critically analyzing music, and hence this is not so much an album review as much as a closer look at the message of the album from a purely lyrical perspective. I must also admit that I really love Tenth Avenue North and encourage all you readers to check out their music. The Light Meets the Dark is a good place to start, and here's the third song of the album, you are more. Cheers!